If you have been through a breakup, you know that it can be a painful and lengthy process. Thanks to the study I conducted in 2018, you can now gain insights into what’s preventing you from getting over your breakup.
When someone can’t get over their ex, it’s normally related to how much they want, and hope, to get back together.
How hope gets fueled
Expecting to get back together after a breakup is normally fueled by behaviors that try to keep you close to your former partner. For example, you may be checking his or her social media, or trying to be a good friend by offering the best of you to that person.
When you do this, it’s normal for the other person to respond in a positive way, for example by complimenting you, appreciating your efforts or being warm towards you.
In turn, you may read those positive signals as evidence that he or she is interested in getting back together with you, when in fact those signals mean nothing.
Why mixed signals hold you back
Mixed signals are very confusing for the person who wants to get back together. However, most people won’t ask what those signals mean, for fear of a painful or embarrassing answer.
Not clarifying mixed signals keeps your desire for that person alive, and keeps you on an emotional roller coaster you can’t seem to stop.
What to do instead
If you want to get over someone you have liked or loved for a long time, make sure you don’t go the extra mile by trying to please him or her, following his or her life, keeping in contact or raising your hopes.
The less contact you have with your ex, the better. If contact is necessary, always try to clarify any mixed signals he or she gives you, so you understand the real meaning behind his or her behavior.
