Dr. Silvia Buet González | Author of Breakup Recovery Books

Why I started a PhD at 43 years old

Meet Dr. Silvia Buet González

For over 35 years, I have worked as a psychologist and CBT psychotherapist in my private practice in the UK. Whenever I tried to help someone who couldn’t let go after a breakup or divorce, the same question always came up.

Why can’t I get over my ex?

Some of my patients had only dated for a few months. Others were married or had lived together for twenty years before their relationship ended. Some were left, while others made the difficult choice to leave. Some felt angry all the time, some hoped to get back together, and others struggled to get through the day because of their grief. Each person faced different problems, but they all had one thing in common: they were stuck in pain, and nothing they tried seemed to help.

Because I couldn’t find clinical guides on helping people recover from a breakup, I decided to go back to university and start a PhD at 43. I wanted to understand why some recover quickly while others remain stuck. It took seven years to find the answer. That’s why I became an author: so you wouldn’t have to search as long as I did.

My background

My training and experience

35+years as a psychologist
PhDon distress after a breakup
BABCPaccredited psychotherapist and trainer
8countries where I’ve trained professionals

I graduated in Psychology from the University of Valencia in 1991. In Northern Ireland, I completed a Postgraduate Diploma in Human Resource Management and an MSc in Counselling and Guidance at the University of Ulster. In 2018, Queen’s University Belfast awarded me a PhD for my research on emotional distress after a relationship breakup.

Since 1999, the BABCP has accredited me as a Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist and as a CBT trainer. From 2000 to 2004, I was also a staff counselor and critical incident stress debriefer for a Belfast health trust.

Teaching has always been part of my work. I lectured on CBT at the University of Ulster, founded the International Institute for Cognitive Therapy and have trained mental health professionals in eight countries.

Queen’s University BelfastUniversity of UlsterUniversity of ValenciaBABCP

Speaking

At international congresses

Belfast2016
“Emotional Distress after a Relationship Dissolution: A Cognitive Behavioural Model”
BABCP Annual Conference
Istanbul2011
“Cognitive Therapy for Guilt”
International Congress of Cognitive Psychotherapy
Barcelona2007
“New advances in assessing and treating PTSD”
World Congress of Behavioural & Cognitive Therapies
Paris2006
“Distorted cognitions about certainty in PTSD”
European Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies
Toronto2005
“Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment for Victims of Type II Trauma”
International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies
Thessaloniki2005
“Factors affecting levels of adjustment after a relationship break-up”
European Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Therapies

I have also run PTSD skills trainings in London, Manchester, Dublin, Belfast, Madrid, Barcelona, Valencia and Wisconsin (USA).

The author

My books

Coming soon · Join the launch list

The Acceptance Guide to Breakup Recovery

A 4-Step CBT Therapy Workbook with exercises for emotional healing, coping with relationship loss, and moving on after a breakup or divorce

Most books on relationship loss assume you’ve already accepted your breakup. The Acceptance Guide to Breakup Recovery shows you exactly how to do it, step by step.

See the 4 steps that help you accept it’s over

Next book · In progress

Get Out of My Head

On obsessions, rumination and worry after a breakup.

The person behind the research

My story

If there is a word to define me, it would be “Passion”.

I went to University to study Psychology in the 80s, against the advice of my parents. They were worried, with reason, that I would end up like one of the 95% of Psychologists in Spain, “unemployed.”

Despite their pressure, I took the plunge. I left my home town to move to Valencia, and I gambled my future with that decision.

But if you asked me who I am: I am someone with the knowledge, the skills, and the passion to help you get over your ex.

How I Reached The Point To Be Passionate About Healing Broken Hearts!

Part one

Spain

1986 – 1994

1986

Valencia, Spain

I start my Psychology degree and I learn how studying and enjoying University life is possible, without spending nights cramming for an exam or drinking liters of coffee.

1991

Spain

I finish my degree. My parents were right. No jobs anywhere. I work as a secretary, getting up at 5 am in the morning every day. I decide to move back to my home town in Spain.

1992

Spain

I reject all job offers that were attempting to exploit me and I only accept one, where I can work part-time as an English teacher. I prepare that year to set up my own practice as a psychologist.

1993

Spain

I finally take my first patient as a psychologist in Spain. He used to have the most terrifying panic attacks. I was having mine while treating him, scared of messing him up even more.

1994

Spain

While I practice as a psychologist, I become a freelance Human Resources Consultant. I provide training for public and private organizations on topics such as assertiveness, team building and leadership, stress and time management, negotiation skills and conflict resolution, motivation, customer services, sales training, communication and presentation skills.

Part two

Northern Ireland

1995 – 2006

1995

Northern Ireland

I go on holiday to Northern Ireland to run away from the unbearable heat of Spain that summer. I fall in love with the place and I decide to move there the following year.

1996

Northern Ireland

I obtain a grant to study a Post-Graduate in Human Resource Management at the University of Ulster in Northern Ireland. I am offered a managerial HR position at a multinational company in Belfast.

1998

Belfast

It’s time to stop working for others and I set up my own private practice as a Psychologist in the UK and I obtain the Accreditation of Cognitive Behavioral Psychotherapist within the BABCP. I am now convinced that my parents overreacted, after all. 😊

2005

UK and abroad

I complete a Master’s in Counselling and Guidance at the University of Ulster and I become one of the Founder members of the International Trauma Institute. I travel all over the world training mental health professionals and presenting at international conferences.

2006

University of Ulster

I start working at the University of Ulster as a lecturer teaching Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and I set up a new business, “the International Institute for Cognitive Therapy”. And yes, I was doing all of it at the same time: my practice as a Psychologist, the lecturing position at the University of Ulster, the International Trauma Institute, and this new venture. How many hours did I work a day (including weekends)? Try to guess but I am pretty sure you will underestimate the figure.

Part three

Research and writing

2011 onward

2011

Queen’s University Belfast

I conclude that my life was not sufficiently complicated and I decide to start a PhD at Queen’s University Belfast. It “only” takes me 7 years to complete my research titled “A Cognitive Behavioural perspective of emotional distress after a relationship breakup”. Finally, I discover the 8 crucial factors why some people get stuck after a breakup while others move on quickly with their lives.

2026

My book

I finish my book, The Acceptance Guide to Breakup Recovery. It’s a 4-step CBT workbook that shows you how to accept that your relationship is over, the part most books on relationship loss assume you’ve already done. See the book →

What’s coming

And it won’t be the only one: more are already on the way. What may happen in the future, you’ll be able to see it by yourself if you accompany me on this journey once you make the decision to recover from your breakup.